


Daryl Dixon, Douchebag Extraordinaire

by Feliz



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2190441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feliz/pseuds/Feliz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl Dixon is a douchebag of the highest order</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daryl Dixon, Douchebag Extraordinaire

**Author's Note:**

> This Daryl Dixon is friends with Beth's brother Shawn and has grown up with the Greene kids. As such, having had the Greenes in his life, he was protected more from his home situation and is not the man we know from the series.

There are certain things that Beth Greene accepts as irrefutable facts. 

First and foremost, gravity is a heartless bitch; this is a painful lesson she has learned over a lifetime of dropping things, knocking stuff over and tripping over her own two feet. Two, her family is awesome and she would do anything for them, just as they would for her. Unless that means not laughing when she goes sprawling across the kitchen floor like a new born giraffe. Three, Daryl Dixon is a douchebag of the highest order. According to Maggie, Beth's hatred of Daryl has increased tenfold since she _accidentally_ slept with him last year. 

But Beth is pretty sure she has wanted to punch him in the face since she was six years old.

**********

Beth knows that to outsiders, her body looks lithe and graceful, but she generally just feels like a puppeteer trying to keep all her limbs where they are supposed to be. She's broken more bones than she can count and who knows how many windows, dishes, knickknacks and, one memorable time, a cow. (She is still traumatized when she thinks about the Bessie incident, bets her Daddy is too being he was the one who had to put the cow down.) She would never say, but grace was always one of the things she admired about Daryl; was jealous of the way he was always sure-footed and never seemed to waste a motion. She imagines those reflexes were born early in his life out of the worst kind of necessity, but she wants them all the same.

Her Momma likes to joke that Beth fell right out of the womb and has been clumsy ever since (cue eye roll from Beth), so to say that she's used to being teased for her lack of coordination is an understatement. When she was ten years old and Shawn and his friend Daryl, who spent more of his childhood at their house than his own, started calling her 'Ace' she thought everyone would be over it in a matter of days as per usual. Little Beth had just huffed at the boys as they went around telling anyone who would listen about Beth's new nickname, 'a collision expected' or 'Ace'. And yet here she is, twenty-two years old and home from school for the weekend to play Maid of Honor for her big sister, staring at a wedding program that proclaims her "Beth 'Ace' Greene". 

"Maggie! Are you serious with this 'Ace' crap? Why would you do that to me?!" 

Maggie shakes her head with a small smile on her face. "Beth, you know I wouldn't. Daryl called the print shop and had them change it. It seemed like such a waste to get them all reprinted." 

God, she should have known. Daryl Dixon: destroyer of lives.

**********

She finds him in the barn, helping set up for the rehearsal dinner they're having that night. "Hey, asshole!"

He turns at the sound of her voice and smirks. "Baby Greene! How you been, Ace?" 

She slaps the wedding program against his chest as hard as she can and he doesn't even flinch of course (jerk). "Are you kiddin' me with this? What are you, twelve years old?" 

"Now don't get your panties in a bunch, sweetheart. You're too good for us common folk now, I just wanted to make sure everyone would remember who you are." 

Beth leans in closer to him and drops her voice, tying to sound menacing. "Don't you worry yourself about the state of my panties, Daryl Dixon. Just leave me alone for the next two days, got it?" 

Daryl chuckles and reaches out to ruffle Beth's hair like a child. "Aw Ace, you gotta be the cutest thing I ever saw when you're tryin' to be all tough like." 

Beth tries to duck away from him, batting his hands away. He gives her a wink before turning to head back to the other side of the barn where they're setting up tables. "You're the biggest prick I've ever met, Dixon!" 

Daryl spins but continues walking, now backwards away from her and spreads his arms to his sides. "Thought you said you didn't remember anything from that night, Ace?" 

Beth's face immediately goes red and she escapes back to the house. Why does she even bother? Daryl Dixon - 2,194, Beth Greene - 0.

**********

When Beth was twelve and Shawn and Daryl both graduated from high school, she thought she would have a reprieve from all the teasing. But even as Shawn left to go to college three states over, her Daddy offered Daryl a full time job on the farm. Three months later when Daryl showed up one morning with a broken wrist, Beth's momma gave him an ultimatum: move in with them or she would go give Will Dixon a piece of her mind. Annette Greene was stubborn as a mule and Daryl loved her just as much as all her other kids, so he packed what he had and moved in. Which meant he was there all the time. So much for the reprieve.

He was there when she french kissed a boy for first time and managed to get her tongue stuck in his braces. She panicked and yanked her tongue out and then started screaming when she realized her tongue was sliced open. Her parents were at the farmer's market so Daryl took her to the hospital and held her hand while they put four stitches in her tongue. All the while he was criticizing her 'technique' and telling everyone at the hospital that she had probably turned Jimmy Martin gay. 

He was there when she got her first period. She had been out riding Nellie and noticed her stomach felt weird, but didn’t think anything of it until she was in the barn climbing off the horse. It was obvious to everyone else what was happening as soon as Beth turned around in her white riding breeches and of course Daryl had to say something. "Congratulations, Ace; you're a woman now. Don't get knocked up. And you'd better not got any of your womanhood on Nellie." 

He was there at her sweet sixteen, when she tumbled down the stairs trying to make her grand entrance in front of about 50 family members and friends. He started a slow clap. Everyone joined in. 

He was there the day of her senior prom, when her Momma made Beth and Zach pose for photos on the front porch swing with all their friends waiting by the limo. Somehow the zipper got caught between the slats and when she stood, the entire zipper panel ripped from the back, making the dress fall to a puddle around her feet. Daryl wolf whistled from the yard. And as Jimmy sewed the dress back up with an emergency kit he had brought just for Beth, Daryl mouthed to her over his head, 'you made him gay'. 

Basically every painfully awkward and cringe worthy moment in her life was accompanied by a soundtrack of Daryl Dixon commentary. But Beth was determined that this wedding would be the exception. She was not going to fall down. She was not going to break anything. She was not even going to talk about someone just to discover they were standing behind her. And she certainly wasn't going to accidentally moon the whole town again like that incident at the county fair two years ago. That couldn't happen to a person twice in their life anyway, right?

**********

Beth manages to avoid Daryl for most of the rehearsal dinner and it lulls her into a false sense of security. So when she's standing off to the side enjoying a glass of champagne and chatting with Glenn's friend Rick who she'll be walking down the aisle with tomorrow, she's completely caught off guard when Daryl comes up and snatches her glass away. He gulps it down before turning to Rick. "Watch out there buddy. She's just tryin' to get you drunk so she can have her way with you." He leans in to the guy real close, like it's a secret. "Trust me, I'm speakin' from experience." He raises his eyebrows at Rick before he turns and walks away.

Why didn't she say something? God, she always just stands there like a awkward mute when Daryl blows in to torture her. She turns to Rick, whose face is bright red and he's refusing to look in her direction. "Don't mind him. He's a moron." She rolls her eyes and chuckles all embarrassed like. "Seriously, he just lives to make my life a livin' hell for some reason. Like some people have hobbies or collect things but Daryl Dixon apparently spends hours of his life thinkin' of all the ways he can be a pain in my ass!" 

Beth has clearly let her mouth run away with her again. She gives another little laugh and turns to look at Rick. He gives her a small smile which looks more like a grimace and clears his throat. "I'm married by the way. Expecting a baby in a couple of months." 

Beth just sighs and walks off without even acknowledging Rick. She definitely needs another drink.

**********

Beth woke the next morning to pounding on the door of her high school bedroom. "Come on, Ace. Your momma's got breakfast on the table. Big day today." Beth just groaned. How could she be expected to deal with a hangover _and_ Daryl Dixon at 7:30 in the morning?

By the time Beth made it out of the shower and downstairs over an hour later, the only one left in the kitchen is her momma for which she's extremely grateful. "Mornin' Momma. Please tell me there's coffee." 

Her momma wraps her arms Beth, which she secretly thinks helps with her headache. Now if only she could crawl up in her lap maybe all her problems would be solved. "Good morning, baby girl. Getting a late start?" 

"Hmm. Where's everybody else?" She pulls away from her momma and makes her way to the coffeepot. 

"Well, all the men are outside getting the tents set up and your daddy is 'supervising'. Maggie and Patricia went into town to pick up the dresses from the cleaners. Sarah and Emily are gonna be here in about half an hour and then we'll have an hour or so to make sure everything is set up before you girls need to start doin' hair and makeup in time to be ready for pictures at 12:00. Maggie's being all proper, wantin' to make sure she and Glenn don't see each other before the ceremony and that all the pictures are done before guests start arriving so none of them see her either." 

Beth is halfway through her second cup of coffee when she realizes her mother has stopped talking. She looks up to see her staring at Beth like she's waiting on a response. "What? Did you ask me somethin'?" 

"Did you hear anything I just said?" 

Beth sighs. "Momma, you threw a lot of words at me there but I heard that I don't have to be anywhere for half an hour. And that sounds awesome." She grabs a plate and piles some bacon and cold eggs on it before collapsing at the table. "Did you send Daryl up to wake me this morning?" 

"No, he volunteered." 

"Yeah, well sucks to be him 'cause I locked my door last night. Wasn't gonna wake up with 'Ace' on my forehead in black Sharpie. Not again anyway." 

Her momma smiles. "That boy does love to cause trouble doesn't he?" 

Beth snorts. "Just for me it seems." She looks up to see Momma staring at her thoughtfully. 

"Yes, he does always seem to see the things you do." 

"I know! He's always looking for me to mess up or do something stupid so he can give me crap about it. He's like a child." 

Her momma hums. "He does like to pull your pigtails, so to speak. Why is that, you think?" 

"Because he lives to torment me? It's his only joy in life?" 

Her momma just stares at Beth knowingly. "What?" She shakes her head at Beth. "What Momma? I feel like we're having two different conversations." 

Momma just shakes her head again. "Just remember what I said, Bethy." 

"Remember what you said? I don't even _understand_ what you said!" 

Momma's on her way out of the kitchen, but she turns around at the doorway. "Oh and maybe watch it on the alcohol tonight; we don't want a repeat of what happened between you and Daryl last New Year's." 

"Momma! How did you even know about that? Did he tell you?" 

"Daryl? You know he would never do that. He may give you a hard time, but he's always a gentleman around me. And please, Beth; just because I'm old fashioned, doesn't mean I don't know what's happenin'. Just means I don't do it myself anymore." She winks at Beth before walking out of the door. 

Beth stares after her for a few seconds before hollering after her. "Does Daddy know?" 

From the other room she hears, "Of course not; Daryl's still livin', right?"

**********

They get most everything set up before leaving the boys minus Glenn to do the rest. Poor Glenn hasn’t been able to help with anything as Maggie banished him from the farm until she called to tell him it was safe. The girls get through hair and make up and into their dresses without any disasters which is surprising to Beth. Maggie looks amazing in her dress and Beth feels stupid that she let her feud with Daryl take away from why she was actually here this weekend. Her big sister is getting married.

The photographer takes the girls all over the farm doing all sorts of cute and crazy photos before bringing the guys out to take some shots with Maggie. Beth would never admit it anyone, but Daryl looks amazing in his suit. There's a reason that drunk Beth 'accidentally' slept with him; the man's sexy as hell. Especially when you clean him up. Or when's he been working on his bike so he's all dirty. Or when he's out in the sun with the horses, covered in sweat and smelling of hay, skin kissed red from the sun. _Come on Beth, focus._

The photographer sends Maggie away and sends Rick to get Glenn so she can get some shots of the groom and the girls. While they wait, Daryl wanders over to Beth. She looks at him, waiting for a retort. When none comes, she realizes that she's just staring at him, staring at her. Finally he breaks the stare and looks down before glancing up at her. "Clean up good there, Greene." 

"Not so bad yourself, Dixon." There's awkward silence for a minute or two before Daryl clears his throat. 

"Try to keep this dress on, wouldja? And watch out walking down the aisle; remember the fair?" 

Beth goes to roll her eyes but stops herself. Being home seems to have made her regress to high school years, based on her many times she's rolled her eyes in the last thirty hours. "We were so close to havin' a normal conversation and you had to screw it up, huh?" 

Daryl doesn't look smug like usual; he seems to be embarrassed for some reason. Beth just walks away to join the other girls. And if she's concentrating harder than normal on not tripping, well that's no one's business but hers.

**********

The ceremony goes off without a hitch. Beth walks down the aisle without missing a beat. She makes sure not to lock her knees so as to avoid passing out. She manages to juggle her bouquet and Maggie's while still handing over Glenn's ring without dropping anything. She makes it back up the aisle holding Rick's arm with only a little awkwardness.

And now the photographer is getting a few pictures of the entire wedding party before they all head over to the reception. That's when disaster strikes. The photographer has them all lined up on the dock by the pond and Beth's guard is completely down because they day has been going so well. The girls were all sitting up on the rail with their escort leaning beside them, elbows on the ledge beside the girls. She snaps a couple of shots and then tells everyone to make their way to front porch of the house. Beth honestly has no idea what happens next. One minute she's sitting there smiling away, and the next she can feel herself falling backwards into the water. 

When Beth surfaces, everyone is leaned over the rail, staring at her. She wants to die of embarrassment. Or maybe just cry. T-Dog, Glenn's other groomsman, turns to look at the rest of the group. "Who had after the ceremony but before the reception?" 

Daryl turns to glare at the man. "Shut the fuck up, asshole!" Then he makes his way to the end of the dock, bending over to extend his hand to her. "Beth, come on. I'll help you out." Suddenly Beth is furious. She makes her way over to Daryl and reaches up to take his hand. Instead of bracing against the dock and letting him help her out, she grabs his hand and yanks him toward her, pulling him into the pond beside her. He comes back up out of the water, sputtering. "What the hell, Beth?" 

Maggie seems to have had enough. "Alright, that's it. We're done with the pictures. Let's start drinking." 

Everyone makes their way off the dock and across the field to where the tents are set up for the reception, while Daryl climbs back up on the dock. But Beth isn't done with him yet. "This is all your fault, you know?" 

"My fault? You're the one who fell in the damn pond! And you're the one who jerked me in after you! But I could see how the whole thing would be my fault." 

Beth heaves herself up to the dock and gets to her feet in front of Daryl. She notices she's lost one of her shoes, so she reaches down to pull the other one off. "All your teasing and picking on me made me nervous! I was bound to screw up, what with everyone just waiting for it. And I'm sure it wasn't your idea to make the bet!" 

She stalks past Daryl and heads toward the house. She can hear him following behind her, but she's ignoring it. If she can just get to the house, she can change clothes and crawl into bed and forget the humiliation that just happened. 

Just as she makes it up the porch steps, Daryl grabs her arm and spins her toward him. He gets right in Beth's face and her breath catches as his eyes stare down into hers. "Now you listen to me, I didn't have nothin' to do with whatever that T-Dog moron was talkin' about. I know you always think I'm givin' you a hard time cause I get some kinda sick joy outta it. And don't get me wrong, sometimes it's pretty funny watchin' you squirm. But sometimes I'm tryin' to be the asshole to take some of the heat off of you." 

"Yeah, I'm sure." 

"Believe whatever the hell you want, but it's the truth. You always get that lost look on your face, makes people wanna just do whatever they can to protect you." For some reason, Beth is super aware of Daryl's hands on the bare upper arms, of her heart pounding, of the fact that she can’t seem to catch her breath. Daryl breaks eye contact to glance off to his right before looking back at her, taking a deep breath. 

"Plus you're so fuckin' cute when you're mad. Your eyes get all bright and you get these little red spots on your cheeks." He reaches up to run a finger along her cheekbone before cupping her cheek in his palm. He uses his the hand on her face to tilt her head up as he leans down. Just before their mouths touch, a thought occurs to her and she pushes him back. 

"Wait a minute. But that morning after New Year's you couldn't wait to get me out of your bed. I believe your exact words were 'Baby Greene, don't you know you're supposed to be gone by now'." 

Daryl drops his hand and his gaze. "I could see it on your face as soon as you woke up; you wished we hadn't done it. Just didn't want to hear you awkwardly explain to me why it was a mistake." 

Beth shakes her head. "It wasn't that I thought it was a mistake, I just thought you were gonna laugh it off, blame it on being drunk. I was scared." 

Daryl reaches down to take her hand. "Nothin' to be scared of. I thought it was pretty good. Wouldn't mind doin' it again. For a while maybe." He shrugs. "Few years or so." 

Beth is smiling during what she considers her and Daryl's first real kiss. Their first sober one anyway. It should be weird because it's Maggie's wedding day and they're on her parent's front porch and they're both soaking wet. But it's perfect all the same. 

When they break apart, it's to clapping and wolf whistles from their family and friends across the yard. Daryl glances over to the group and then smiles down at Beth before he leans in to kiss her again. Stopping a half inch away to whisper against her lips, "I knew you remembered that night, Ace."


End file.
